Become the things you loved most about the people who are now gone
Extremes
I love big and small, if its small it needs to be the smallest, and if they are big they need to be the biggest.
My photography doesn’t get away from from that. I love macro to this: yesterday morning unedited 270 degree pano for you endless scrolling. I usually keeps these to myself because they are so massive. Enjoy
Reincarnation
I grew up in a house where things that were not understood were not believed in. Say reincarnation would be something of eastern mysticism and not real. In resolving my childhood issues I reflected on something I felt I could not question. Well now that I am older and slowing down I putting my own experiences into things I ignored or overlooked. This is my current view on reincarnation. I personally don’t believe in one path, i believe there are many, i believe man’s corruption over time has made it this way, corrupting the truth in the messages making their own wine watered down to nothing.
Reincarnation, as I see it, is not something that happens only after death but within the life we are currently living. When we fail in this current life and miss the mark we then can sink into deep depression, it is as though the old self has died through this process. To move forward, we must rebuild ourselves piece by piece eliminating impurities to rebuild a long lasting life. In doing so, a new person is forged—a new life within the same lifetime. This rebirth requires more than just moving on; it means confronting the pain of the past, learning to let it go, and reconnecting with the inner child and the true self within. If we avoid this work, the unresolved pain eventually pulls us back down, and we fall again into long-term depressions. The cycle repeats until we learn the point. To me, this repeating rise and fall is the real meaning of reincarnation: the continual death and rebirth of the self within a single life, until we finally reconnect with who we truly are. Which is listening to the voice within and connecting unto and tapping into a force stronger than yourself.
I grew up in a Christian home but I believe perception is the key that is overlooked, i even went so far as to find this scripture to put here as Christian mysticism here. This scripture can back up my theory i am throwing out there:
2 Corinthians 5:17
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”
Last night’s northern lights
Country life
I love living out of the cities, i have access to stop and take pictures on my way to work, I have 5-6 spots like this within 1 minute outside of the car. This morning was beautiful.
Ant eyes
Last night I took one shot of one ant and this was a crop of it. My best shot to achieve my personal goals was hit. I showed my Son this picture and he said cool and that was usually the extent it. I was then on social media for a minute and naturally I follow macro shot groups and the first post I saw was so good. I showed my Son and he said “that sucks, thats like 300x better. I am sorry that happened”. Although I love the empathy here I told him to hold up because it was only 250x better to begin with.
I let him know outside of my goals and my own personal accomplishments that it did not matter to me that I saw that, that I wont allow outside influences to sway me from my personal goals.
We chatted about perception and how I can be jealous of how much better those other pictures we saw or I cannot be attached to that jealousy and instead say holy shit nature is so beautiful and revel in that instead.
Stinging nettle
More beautiful then i expected, look but dont touch ;)
Stinging nettle is beautiful
My quality sucks
I love finding out i suck, truly. I am high functioning on life and have a hard time slowing down.
My photography suffers, yet I am ok with it,I take great shots and rush edits with too much AI to strip the sharpness and quality.
Yet in a way i share and not achieve ego boosts, i feel its halfway, i do not want praise, i am sharing nature and we all own that.
this is a shot of my pic on the screen before editing to show the detail i let
go of.
Last night
If you lack confidence in yourself, you will overcompensate in control.
Separate yourself from all non genuine versions of your past. Grow into yourself and this creates your confidence.
Success
Success to me is simply put is failing and trying again differently. Failure to me is not trying it again differently,
Insanity to me is expecting different results for trying the same equation.
I spouted this most of my life.
Success to me now is an ever relentless fight against fear. The success I see with my relationship with my Son is the security I need to know I am on the right path.
Adults are egotistical and ignorant imo,
My life goal is truly be a emotionally mature adult that my son learns through osmosis. Be real and honest and vulnerable to him. Showcase my shortcomings because he is such a mini me he will stumble just the same and safe guard against what i accepted. That I am human, a man, not perfect and thats ok. I need to be real and genuine. This is when i flourish. Self follow a path of acceptance and knowing it is ok. We all matter, we are all not seen, but our needs are all the same. We all have highs and lows and noone is above or below either or these. Just the quickest way to see who has privilege and/or principles if we listen to the words.
As I teach my Son (10) if everyone is special that means noone is special. That sounded horrible so version 2 was we are all special but what makes you unique, plant seeds and water frequently. Our kids are our future, we fail them and not the other way around.
We blame the kids instead of truly placing the blame where it belongs on every single adult. Period.
Past few months
For the past few months I have kept to myself mostly and internalized a lot. I have learnt how to accept and in this the art of letting go.
I have taken thousands of photos i may see or not. I have even stopped using the editing software to slow down and find my own style. I started to edit in photoshop for the first time and I have focus and vision.
Canadian flag
So today at work in the afternoon I went for a walk and I walked by a house that had a Canadian flag posted but something was off and I couldn’t put my finger on it right away, it was an oddly windy day which made the flag just impossible to see naturally because I needed to know what was off about it. Then I saw it, the maple leaf was upside down, truly one of the first times I have experienced this and I emotionally overreacted.
Anger instantly filled me and yeah I did what any mature adult would do and I gave the house the finger. I was mad and I even thought I will do this every time I walk by this house which 2x a work day and then had the audacity to feel like a proud Canadian, but the whole walk back I didn’t feel proud, I felt shame instead. I heard “let them” in my head and i then had to have a chat with chat gpt about it. This was a wonderful conversation truly but this line here is what stopped me:
“ Is your middle finger about protecting what you love, or is it about punishing someone for not sharing your way of loving it?”
That was all I needed, I was in the wrong and I was so not proud, I am sorry I did do it now and will learn from this and grow. I was more upset they did not agree with my point of view. That shit is just not ok.
I will learn from this and try to become more observant than a moron in the future.
I felt it was worth noting here. Plus some cool bugs!
